Hello…Can Any One Help?
Posted on June 12, 2010I cannot express these feelings. I cannot express any thing today. I thought I had got over my weakness, that I had given myself a second chance, A chance of being happy. But, I was wrong. I am still stuck at that weakness. The weakness we call LOVE. I am not over HIM. For those who need a recap- I am in love with some one who is n0t in love with me. and the way I show my inability to fall out of love HE shows HIS inability of not falling in love with me. I do not know the reason. I cannot curse myself for not being HIS perfect girl. I don’t want to do that, but now I am again in that same sad state where heart ache is the worst emotion and by the end of the day I have tears in my eyes.
Again Sad..
I want him or not, I am too frustrated at myself to think that. I don’t know what I want.. probably some good sleep.
Please readers…i love you all for reading this but, Don not fall in love (Atleast till the time I bounce back with enthusiasm and write something bright and beautiful!)
I Again Disappointed Myself And You…Sorry
Posted on May 03, 2010I could not write from past two days. Time and laziness can be a dangerous combination to deal with sometimes. I had been sitting all day in front of this computer screen doing something or the other. I got an awful hearing from boss. (Boss, If you are planning it to read it till the end, then don’t do that . All of it has you today). I am disappointed. Disappointed at my own self. He kept yelling at me and I was scared. But then, his few words kind of gave me a big blow. He said,” you disappointed me. Do you realize. I am disappointed”. and they were such harsh words. I could have thought of writing something else. But, this just wont go out of my mind. I swear I don’t want boss to read this. But I have to write today and
Yup, This Is Excactly How My Face Looks Right Now
I don’t have a second thought running in my mind besides this. I love working and probably this is the most interesting thing ever. He did misinterpret some of my actions in a wrong way, which again made me feel very bad. I am not sweet to you intentionally Goddammit! I gain nothing by working with you except knowledge and that is primarily my only concern. I have 10,000 ways to making people work in my favor. But, this is what you thought of me!!!! That I am writing those one liners to make you deal sweetly with me!!! Two days and you judged me THIS!!! Yes, obviously my fault I could not keep you updated.
But, how could you think I am a lazy person who does not work. I don’t like to discuss my same bloody problem again n again n again. That is the reason I don’t talk to you about it. I get scared of you and avoid telling you. Don’t you tell me that I am being lazy and incapable of showing good results. Trust me I don’t care what image people make about me, but when I am working sincerely, grasping knowledge then I don’t take this shit! I know you were not wrong and get lost if you think writing this is again a way of gaining you back in the favor department. I have worked, and never for you but for myself. If you think these one liners are to impress you then you are mistaken.
How can you possibly think I have issues with commitment! Besides my ex-boyfriend I have never had issues of commitment with anyone else. Okay, you are right and your scolding was fair, but you cannot possibly stop being nice to me if I was careless for two days. Did I stop talking to you when never reverted back for two days? Yes, you are the boss but, lets be fair na. I don’t like sharing my problem again and again and I don’t like rehearsing it. I find it embarrassing. So I cannot tell you every time. This is not a bloody fuckin love letter. And I really give a damn if People find this pure shit! It just hurts when you yourself end up like an ass and on top of it you are misunderstood by someone you respect so much.
But this is the fact. last time boss
I will Still adore you….
P S. You Forgot My Birthday 
Another Bad Day
Posted on April 29, 2010Another bad day.
Yes I am In pits of hell and everyone is lovin it. Trust me. I just offered my boss to to fire me. Nothing in the world can be worst than his. I love you guys. All of you who read my nonesense in still yhink it’s good. I crave for comments but, this is too much to handle. Not you guys. My life. I cannot live in the frustration I am living in. Sometimes I feel I wish i could write so very clearly, but that is not part of this entire stuff. I am being very vague with what I am saying. But, right now I fell like crying sooooo much. I want to live a life of my dreams. But I am not able to. I dont want to end up like a housewiife with 7 kids and a fat belly husband with moustaches. I want to be on the top. Excellent in my proffesional life. This is not going to happen I guess. I’l send you the cards of my marriage. Come and stuff food and remember me as Natsaha who loved to write. I hate telling and sharing this with friends. I dont want sympathy, I dont aim to be good wife bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry if you hated this pst boss. I cannot inser the pic. I am too fucked up with everything. But I will always adore you boss. MMuuahhh
Love
