I Need My Magus Back..
Posted on May 5, 2010Crap!..Stupid emotional days are back. My life remains the same as before. Last year the same month, my schedule used to be the same. 6 o clock jogging..coming back by 8 and then talking to HIM. HE gets up early. Then when everyone in my family would go to their respective workplaces, I would turn on the Radio In the Music System so that I don’t feel all alone in the house. But then, I would get to to the phone and start talking to HIM and won’t even remember which song is being played. Life is more or less the same even now. Just with the difference that I don’t have HIM and the music system does not help in getting rid of the Loneliness anymore…
I am missing HIM today (so obvious!)..and I don’t know how to tell HIM this. I will ruin the friendship. Getting annoyed by HIM helps but, not for long. I decided to watch some movie today and the first movie I saw coming, was one movie that we had seem together of a different language. I feel so stupid now that loving HIM has cost me more than I had imagined. HE is so sure that we will never be together and I have completely accepted the fact. But, you know sometimes (which is almost every night) I dream of HIM..of HIM proposing me and perhaps, that is why I don’t sleep. That is so dumb..I know that.and i laugh at myself so frequently and today I am crying..crying for HIM after such a long time. I thought I had become strong..but no…certain memories remain and the bad ones never leave.
Now I know why do people say that Love happens only ones…You may feel love many times for different men but, you feel heartache THIS bad only for one.Like always..I end up shouting in the empty house… DON’T GO Please… Come Back…I Love You… Like Always..For Forever…
I LOVE YOU
See even I can act like a dumb emotional ass. I am not weak sweetheart but, like I cannot refuse my own existence..I cannot refuse my love… I feel so lost and scared without you. As if I am so scared with everything..I need HIM back..Please God…..Give me back my Magus…
(btw my friend Sahil just called to ask me what is Brazilian Wax…God!!! how can Men be so curious??…now i can’t stop laughing… that is why I Love my friends)
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Tags: diary entry, i love, Love, natasha james
Have you heard about a site called wefeelfine.com? I found your blog randomly from it and just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling that way. I recently broke up with the girl I thought I would be with forever. I want to tell her every day how much I miss her, that my life feels hollow and meaningless compared to life with her. I won’t tell you that “it’ll all get easier soon”, (because I’m not sure if it will) but that I share your hurt.
08.06.2010 00:09
Karl I don’t have words to actually tell you , how nice I am feeling after reading your comment. I will not say I understand you, coz every person has his own set of emotions. but ya…to a certain extend i do know how you would have felt. It feels good to know that some one can come up and say that they share the hurt.it means alot.
thanx..God Bless (n i don’t know about the site u mentioned)
Thanx…
09.06.2010 22:17