Always Vulnerable To Words
Posted on May 22, 2010Is it always so tough to understand other people? or as a matter of fact, your own children? Everyday something or the other forces me to think this. How difficult is it to give space? To not nag and scold and abuse. Every person belongs to the their own set of rules. Every child respects their parents even if the parents believe them to be completely useless and off the track sorts.
Your Child Is Still Vulnerable Even If He is grown up
Wat ever we say, speak or express has an impact on the opposite side that may not be expressed. But, every word said or told leaves a thought in other person’s mind and that gradually leads to perception or the way someone will think of you. Pandits,future tellers will never tell you how your child is going to become in the near future. It is your conduct and most importantly WORDS that will mold him into an individual.Like no parent can think ill of their child, similarly it is impossible that any child would think bad of their parents.
I person like me who stands up for women dignity can never tolerate her father abusing, or her mother blaming her to be the sole reason for her death in the future. Similarly, every person, grown up or young will develop his own impact in the head with the words that have hit him. It is sad, indeed pitiful that even after so many years your own blood fails to understand or agree with you in front of their belief. It is easy to fight the society buy hell more difficult to make your own family understand that you all are dear but i need to grow up now.
I Need My Magus Back..
Posted on May 12, 2010Crap!..Stupid emotional days are back. My life remains the same as before. Last year the same month, my schedule used to be the same. 6 o clock jogging..coming back by 8 and then talking to HIM. HE gets up early. Then when everyone in my family would go to their respective workplaces, I would turn on the Radio In the Music System so that I don’t feel all alone in the house. But then, I would get to to the phone and start talking to HIM and won’t even remember which song is being played. Life is more or less the same even now. Just with the difference that I don’t have HIM and the music system does not help in getting rid of the Loneliness anymore…
I am missing HIM today (so obvious!)..and I don’t know how to tell HIM this. I will ruin the friendship. Getting annoyed by HIM helps but, not for long. I decided to watch some movie today and the first movie I saw coming, was one movie that we had seem together of a different language. I feel so stupid now that loving HIM has cost me more than I had imagined. HE is so sure that we will never be together and I have completely accepted the fact. But, you know sometimes (which is almost every night) I dream of HIM..of HIM proposing me and perhaps, that is why I don’t sleep. That is so dumb..I know that.and i laugh at myself so frequently and today I am crying..crying for HIM after such a long time. I thought I had become strong..but no…certain memories remain and the bad ones never leave.
Now I know why do people say that Love happens only ones…You may feel love many times for different men but, you feel heartache THIS bad only for one.Like always..I end up shouting in the empty house… DON’T GO Please… Come Back…I Love You… Like Always..For Forever…
I LOVE YOU
See even I can act like a dumb emotional ass. I am not weak sweetheart but, like I cannot refuse my own existence..I cannot refuse my love… I feel so lost and scared without you. As if I am so scared with everything..I need HIM back..Please God…..Give me back my Magus…
(btw my friend Sahil just called to ask me what is Brazilian Wax…God!!! how can Men be so curious??…now i can’t stop laughing… that is why I Love my friends)
Hundreds Of People In the Sky…
Posted on May 09, 2010It has been once again been a tiring day. Resting in this corner of the room just as I was about to start ,I heard an airplane zooming above my building. Nothing can stop me when I hear an aeroplane passing by. I have just one opportunity to travel by this marvelous piece of invention. And OH MY GOD!!! It was a breathtaking experience. My flight was scheduled at 6 am and i reached there at exact 5. am. I was so b;loody sleeping that i did not even pay attention to the cute handsome guy who was aking to me while giving me my boarding pass. All I did was smile and then, move on the next thing to be done( I was literally made to revise what I had to do, since it was my first time all alone to a distant city.) When I boarded the bus to reach the plane it was like travelling in a DTC bus, BUT,……When I saw those huge machines right there I went like..OOooo…I took my seat next to the window( I had insisted). it was still dark so ..okay no big D…all set to take off….Now is when I saw what beauty actually is.
The sun had started coming up or we were just going closer. When I looked out I saw the most till date beautifull scene. Now I know Why they say that we have a beautiful country.
Anyways, I had feel every experience. So when the food and all was served I decided to take something for myself. I had ordered a spring roll and coffee.. Coffee was fine but the spring roll..YUCK!!!!!!! It was awful. i felt like puking it right there. Raw, not well cooked, cold, and awfully stale. Only, coffee was worth having.
However the air hostess..oopps I mean extremely bad shaped women who consider themselves slim and have tons of make up that make them look female entertainers ( may be they are for some perverted asses on board). Not a single Stewart. Tragedy and some guy who was sitting right next to me and so close that I did not even dare turn my head in that direction or he might think I am trying to be ‘cozy’ with him.
Chucking that part out ..the view outside was breathtaking( have i said that before?) The sun was nomore what I have always painted as yellow. It seemed more like a diamond. Seriously am not kidding.
The most beautiful journey
Anyways….that was the most and till date the most amazing types journey( minus the awful looking air hostess and the worth throwing food).
I could have flirted with that guy on the airport, That would have been entertaining enough.
Even now as i write there is that sound coming. Maybe hundreds of people are passing just above my head in the air in a huge box..they call an Aeroplane…
Happy! :-)
Posted on May 08, 2010I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Seriously I don’t think I have been happier that this ever since I Started writing here. It feels good. I am such a bitch! Honestly! I have done the most forbidden, the most ‘not so moral’ stuff, lied to people, to my family but one guy! Yes, it’s HIM. I have never lied to him. Never in the past one year, I felt like lying to HIM. This was the comfort level we shared. and yAyeeeeeeeeeeeeee….I continue my record. yyeeepppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… See basically I don’t have much to tell , as I cannot express my feelings inside me. This is the most stupid part. When you cannot express your feelings in words.
Yesss....My Face Is exactly like this....
I was sitting with my friend today, and we were discussing our journey so far together( Yes, we gals are bloody velli and emotional) and when we reached my life one year back and HE came into focus I stopped babbling. It was a different feeling that was surfacing itself in my heart. The freshness of life that I felt in those days. Everything was the same. My dwelling was the same,my family,family environment..But everything sad and bad was too trivial to pay attention to. The most beautiful feeling was inside me and the guy who gave me that feeling with me.
See, Now you people see…how can I expect myself to move on..when he is so much within my………..(pause)……. existence? ( did i even make sense with that line?) I wanna know your experience with Love..any one? anyone at all?
My Hero Of The Day…….
Posted on May 07, 2010I am bloody tired right now. I was running up and down the entire day. Now finally I have settled in this small corner of my room to share some thoughts that are exclusively between you and me. 
We all crib and cry that the world is mean and tough and bad and all… But, I wonder, how many times do we actually smile when people help us when we least expect anyone to? The same happened with me also( that was such an expected line!) I know this person who calls me everyday. Every bloody freakin day without fail. Sometimes I avoid his calls intentionally. Cannot tolerate him and his goody goody stuff everyday.
My Hero of the day
But, today was a different day. I had an interview and I could not find any vehicle. This guy by chance called me and I told the problem I was stuck in AND within 5min(literally) he came to pick me. I had such an Awwww kinda feeling for him.
Anyways, that made me feel, we have so many people in our environment who love us, care for us and look forward to meeting us. But we are such evil asses that we want to run after people who hardly care about our existence. This is so typical devil of us. Honestly, if you sit and think you will definitely come up with minimum 3 such people who really adore us and we don’t even take them seriously. May be because we know they will always be there even if we look at them or not. That so bad of us…Learn to be good to people who respect you!!(in a mommy tone..)
I have decided that I will never avoid his call from now on…He was my Hero Of The day 
